Category Archives: Top Ten Lists

by admin

5 ways to not study

Here at ‘Monday’ we think studying is a waste. You could be shooting hoops with your buddies, or making out with your girl at the drive-in (what few drive-in’s are left here in the US). Studying totally does not fit into our lifestyle. In that vain, I present to you 5 ways not to study.

  1. Don’t attend classes. If you’re not there to hear the lesson then you can’t understand the lesson as well. Being the lazy bums (or tramps if you prefer) we here at ‘Monday’ don’t like to attend anything. Attending classes might mean you’re not being very lazy. However an exception to this is attending classes to sleep through class, and that is acceptable around here.
  2. If you do happen to be in a class and aren’t sleeping, the least you can do is to not take any notes. Since you don’t always remember what was being said, not taking notes is the next best thing to sleeping in class, which is the next best thing to not showing up in class, which is the next best thing to not doing anything.
  3. Procrastinate! Well you won’t get any more description than that from me; you already know how we feel about the subject here at ‘Monday’. Just remember “I’ll do it later” and then later remember the same thing. Put it off, since the pain of actually doing it, is worse than not doing it.
  4. Study in a place with a lot of distractions. Well, I’m not saying you should study, but if you have to make sure there are a lot of distractions. Girls, music, loud noise, buddies, anything that distracts you from actually studying effectively. Eventually you’ll get nothing done and put away that book. In fact let’s have a party, which would pretty much include everything above.
  5. Trying to do many things at once. Try studying while eating breakfast. Or take lots of breaks to go get some water. Or maybe if you don’t like staying in one place for too long, you could read a little bit of your text book then get up and do some cleaning, then go to the kitchen to get something to eat. It takes a while to mentally switch tasks, so if you’re constantly task switching, then studying probably don’t take. When you fail at a test you can then say that you must have not learned anything because you did actually study.

I hope you learned ways to slow down your good study habits, by replacing it with these 5 bad ones.

Until ‘Monday’

by admin

7 Ways to Slow Down Your Friend’s Computer!

Your friend has just bought himself a brand spanking new top of the line computer, and you’re jealous because all you have is a 2-year-old machine that’s not playing your games at a good frame rate. You don’t have any money, and your parents won’t buy you a new computer. So what’s the next best thing to a new computer? Slowing down your friend’s new computer. That’s right; it’s no fair that he worked hard to save up his money to build himself a state-of-the-art machine. If he was a real friend he would have bought you a computer too.

So how do we go about slowing down his computer?

  1. Install as many programs as possible, especially programs he won’t need. The more disk space is used up the better. I read somewhere that for a computer to run optimally you need about 20% free, however, since we’re doing the exact opposite, have less than 20% free.
  2. Hide or uninstall any disk cleanup programs. CCleaner, Defragmenters, registry cleaners, and the like. If he can’t cleanup his hard disk then that can lead to a slower computer. Especially if it has to load a lot of programs.
  3. If you don’t wish to install a lot of programs at least, copy really huge files to the hard drive. Delete them and then copy more large files, also move file locations around. See usually when we delete files, it’s not really deleted they’re just marked for deletion. With repeated copying, moving, and deleting sometimes there are file fragments left behind, this eventually starts mucking with how fast the hard drive can be accessed
  4. Make sure you don’t update the drivers or his OS system files. Updates are usually meant to make a computer faster or fix some bug. If you don’t have the latest updates then the computer can’t run optimally.
  5. Under clock his CPU and graphics card. Over clocking has been a favorite pastime of geeks everywhere. Basically changing voltages and setting clock multipliers to make the computer run faster than it’s rated at. So if you can do it, try to turn the settings down, so that it runs even SLOWER than it’s supposed to normally. Although take heed you don’t kill his computer entirely, sometimes if it’s too slow it can’t do certain operations and has problems. Remember the object is to slow down his computer, not stop him from using it.
  6. Secretly downgrade his operating system. Most newer operating systems are built to use the newest stuff to be the fastest. If you’re using an older operating system you can’t use all the newest features of the current hardware.
  7. Make sure all visual effects for your operating system are turned on. Animations and effects really slow down your computer, so if you’re trying to slow down his, try to get the OS to do as much cool stuff as it can.

If you use these 7 tips you’re likely to slow down his computer and you can then laugh at him for having a slower computer than you. Even better is the fact that his new computer which should be faster actually isn’t.

Until ‘Monday’

by admin

10 Ways to Be Rude To People

Anyone can be nice to someone. Anyone can be helpful and courteous, but not everyone knows how to properly be rude. Why would we want to be rude? Here at ‘Monday’ you know we take the path of least resistance. It’s much easier to be rude than to be nice to someone. Not everyone can do it with skill. So here I will show you some ways you can be properly rude, so that people won’t bother you. You don’t always want people bugging you and sometimes there isn’t a good way to be nice about wanting them to leave you alone.

Here I present how to be rude to people:

  1. Firstly, raise your voice a lot and be very demanding. Some people find this very rude.
  2. Never go along with anyone and always rebel in a decision. Then when they don’t agree with you yell at them for not going your way.
  3. Take everything personally. If someone is ignoring you or makes some comment take it as a personal attack and let them know. Even though they may not be intending to be rude to you, you can certainly be rude to them back!
  4. Name calling is great. Be sure to pick something that you can use to exaggerate, for instance, their weight, or their nose or the fact that they wear glasses.
  5. Yell at them if everything is not perfect, and if it is, then yell about the fact that it’s too perfect. This is also very rude.
  6. Perfect the art of rude hand gestures. A middle finger is a gesticular f-you. In Germany the a ok sign with your thumb and index finger together in a ring, means a-hole — So find out what gestures are rude in other countries so you can gesture rudely to foreigners.
  7. Swearing is considered rude, especially if you do it at other people. Again learn how to swear in other languages so you can insult them in theirs.
  8. Never change your behavior even when you know it hurts someone. Make them cry? All the better, you’re here to be rude not to be a nice guy. An exception to this is maybe to know when you might cross the line and not cross it. There’s a difference between being rude and being mean, and we’re not trying to tell you to be mean.
  9. This one is going to sound counter intuitive but why not learn about social etiquette and manners. If one is going to be rude to people one must know how to be polite. Once you know you shouldn’t put your elbows on the table while holding food, you can put your elbows on the table all the time!
  10. Treat no one with respect. Not women, not your elders, not people in positions of authority. This is ultimate rudeness.

Until ‘Monday’