5 ways to not study

Here at ‘Monday’ we think studying is a waste. You could be shooting hoops with your buddies, or making out with your girl at the drive-in (what few drive-in’s are left here in the US). Studying totally does not fit into our lifestyle. In that vain, I present to you 5 ways not to study.

  1. Don’t attend classes. If you’re not there to hear the lesson then you can’t understand the lesson as well. Being the lazy bums (or tramps if you prefer) we here at ‘Monday’ don’t like to attend anything. Attending classes might mean you’re not being very lazy. However an exception to this is attending classes to sleep through class, and that is acceptable around here.
  2. If you do happen to be in a class and aren’t sleeping, the least you can do is to not take any notes. Since you don’t always remember what was being said, not taking notes is the next best thing to sleeping in class, which is the next best thing to not showing up in class, which is the next best thing to not doing anything.
  3. Procrastinate! Well you won’t get any more description than that from me; you already know how we feel about the subject here at ‘Monday’. Just remember “I’ll do it later” and then later remember the same thing. Put it off, since the pain of actually doing it, is worse than not doing it.
  4. Study in a place with a lot of distractions. Well, I’m not saying you should study, but if you have to make sure there are a lot of distractions. Girls, music, loud noise, buddies, anything that distracts you from actually studying effectively. Eventually you’ll get nothing done and put away that book. In fact let’s have a party, which would pretty much include everything above.
  5. Trying to do many things at once. Try studying while eating breakfast. Or take lots of breaks to go get some water. Or maybe if you don’t like staying in one place for too long, you could read a little bit of your text book then get up and do some cleaning, then go to the kitchen to get something to eat. It takes a while to mentally switch tasks, so if you’re constantly task switching, then studying probably don’t take. When you fail at a test you can then say that you must have not learned anything because you did actually study.

I hope you learned ways to slow down your good study habits, by replacing it with these 5 bad ones.

Until ‘Monday’

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