Category Archives: Not Healthy / “UN” Fit

How to get fat.

by admin

Don’t live up to your potential

What does “Live up to your potential” mean anyway? I think it has something to do with the fact that we all have abilities to do more than we’re doing. For instance being a rock star, writing a best-selling novel, or trying to press 350lbs (admittedly that number was pulled out of my butt). So when they say live up to your potential they mean get off your rump and make it happen. Since we have this incredible brain I guess the impetus is for us to use it as much as we can.

Here at ‘Monday’ we don’t really believe in living up to our potential. Why create expectations. It’s easier just to stay in the rut you’re in. Stay in your comfort zone and don’t do anything to challenge yourself. Challenge is, well… challenging. At ‘Monday’ we try to keep challenge and hard work to a minimum. Don’t set any goals to make you reach higher peaks of being. It’s just a lot of work and when you reach a goal, what’s next, another goal? What is up with that anyways?

They say we use less than 10% of our brain. Is this not living up to our potential? Not really see back a long time ago like biblically long, people lived to 1000 years so think about this, we live to about 100 now (well really 70-80 but that’s just splitting hairs). Guess what, 100 is 10% of 1000. So that tells me one thing. The brain wasn’t meant to learn a lot of new stuff and accomplish a lot. It was meant to hold data, like 1000 years worth of experience.

Live up to your potential sounds like fortune cookie advice. I want a fortune that says you will get gold pieces by the bushel. (Actually I have one that says just that and I laminated it.) (Actually I just put some scotch tape over it, so it’s sort of like laminating.) And by golly I expect my gold pieces by the bushel, not a handful of potential.

Until ‘Monday’

by admin

Learn To Be Afraid, Very, Very Afraid.

Learn to be afraid, very, very afraid, or why staying in your comfort zone is a good thing.

I know people tell you to step outside your comfort zone, and that the only thing you have to fear is fear itself, but there is a reason it’s called a ‘comfort zone’ which is because you are comfortable there. You have everything to fear except fear itself. Fear is the emotion and everything else is the cause of the fear.

For instance lions, and tigers, and bears, oh my. I mean wild animals they could tear you shreds or gore you with their antlers or stampede you with their hooves. Spiders, because they’re poisonous and the fact that they’re pretty dang small makes them all the more frightening. So much so that they’re dead if they ever step foot into my house.

If you’re afraid of heights then the safest place to be is on the ground. It doesn’t matter if you’re on a completely earthquake ready building. If you’re high in the air you could fall to your death. Basically anything that could end in death should be feared. Let’s take a look at more things to be afraid of.

Knives and sharp instruments. Sure you need to cut a steak or other piece of meat. But think about the meat of your flesh as you accidentally slice into a finger. I’m sorry I don’t want to cut myself so I’m afraid of using knives. Cars and just about any vehicle are just rolling coffins. I don’t want to get into any accident so I’m afraid of getting into any vehicles.

I’m afraid of food poisoning so I don’t go out to restaurants. People, because they can be irate and literally tear our head off. Water for fear of drowning. There are many more things to be afraid of, so why on Earth would I want to leave my room?

In order to stay completely safe how do we stay afraid enough not to try new things? First don’t try to analyze it. Fears are irrational anyway, so analyzing it means putting it into a rational context which will slowly desensitize yourself to the fear.

For instance if you’re afraid of talking to people you could start by talking to friends you know, and gradually to people you know less and finally to complete strangers. So you don’t really want to do anything that desensitizes you to the fear. Just walk away and don’t look anyone in the eye.

Don’t confront your fears. If you get scared then you get a surge of adrenaline, and if you keep doing this you’ll eventually just overcome it outright. So don’t attempt to desensitize yourself and at the same time don’t confront your fear as this might help you overcome it all at once.

Eighty percent of the fear is actually in your mind. So to keep yourself safe you want to keep those little negative thoughts constantly in your mind. Don’t try to change it for the positive and don’t try to stop thinking about it. Meditate upon the fear and the fear will grow even larger. This will keep you from stepping outside of your comfort zone and will keep you safe and sound.

Hopefully this has given you some food for thought. The next time you feel like overcoming a ‘fear’, realize that fear is what keeps you safe. Of course it may be the most boring way to live but we’re not interested in what’s exciting, just what’s safe.

Until ‘Monday’

by admin

Become more dependent, the lazy persons guide to life.

What is independence? Basically it’s freedom to do what you want. It’s becoming upwardly mobile and doing your own thing. Being independent means being able to take care of yourself should problems arise for which you can’t get help with. Being independent also take a lot of work. For instance learning to drive to be mobile, and doing things to be self-reliant. Working for money so you have the freedom to take care of yourself. Why go through all that hassle when instead you can be more dependent. Wouldn’t you rather have things taken care of for you? Food, Money, Clothing, a home?

Plan your days around someone else. If you’re going to depend on them more, you have to stick to their schedule. Being more dependent on someone else can look like selfishness because you want them to do everything so you don’t have to. It can also be an act of selflessness. If you want them to carry you on things, you have to work around them on their schedule and in their way. It also makes you look good while you’re mooching from them.

Don’t really have any finances. Working for money is a sure sign of independence. You want them to have all of the money worries but you just want to spend the money. So if you don’t have a job then you have to depend on them. If you have a job, they will expect you to pay some on the bills, but if you don’t, they won’t because you can’t. Also if you lack finances you can live with someone else a girlfriend or boyfriend or parent, so then you don’t even have to take care of rent. Having your own car is like having a money-siphon on wheels. You have to pay for gas, insurance, the car itself and forget about it if you get a ticket. You don’t need that kind of pain, so let someone else do the driving.

Let others do things for you, that you should be doing yourself. Chores at home? Tasks at work? In fact why not pretend to be inept. If you’re a guy, you don’t clean because you can’t clean. We’re naturally messy and isn’t that a good enough excuse to leave your room in a mess? If you’re still living at home tell your Mom that you’re going to pick up something quick and non-nutritious so that she will want you to have a decent meal and end up cooking for you.

Some other steps toward independence are things like going out to a restaurant and eating by yourself. It makes you feel more independent because you don’t need anyone to pay for lunch, however, it goes against this article, so I would suggest doing the opposite. Make sure when you go out to eat, you do it on someone else’s dime, like a loved one, or a friend. Living on your own really says you are independent, so always live at home, or on a friends couch or at your girlfriend’s house. Make sure you change it up too. One week living at Grandpa’s, another week at home, another, your girlfriend, your cousins, your other friends. The more people you have in your friends and family circle the better for you.

Hopefully these tips have showed you how to be more dependent. Just remember being dependent and lazy is the ‘Monday’ way so…

…Until ‘Monday’