Book reading is for chumps or how to fake a decent book report.

So your teacher has assigned you a book report. Maybe it’s a book you get to choose yourself, or maybe it’s one they want you to read specifically. Sometimes we don’t have the time it takes to read the whole book, as that tends to take days or weeks. Sometimes you may have read the book but need to refresh, but don’t want to spend the time to re-read it. What if you don’t like the book, or don’t feel that you should be reading it for school? Maybe you forgot it was assigned two weeks ago so you need to come up with something soon. In any case you need a book report and you need it fast.

Firstly I would suggest looking into whether the book has a movie made from it. Especially classics, like Ivanhoe, or anything from Charles Dickens and Shakespeare. Chances are the movie has everything you need and in no longer than 2-1/2 hours.

Next I would look online for book reviews. Reviews are a bit different from reports as reviews are a bit more opinion-based. Like whether you think the book is good enough for buying. Usually, though, book reviews will contain all the necessary information that you need to include in your report.

I would also suggest you actually checkouts, buy, or borrow the book in question. Then instead of reading it, you should go through any chapter headings, and generally skim the table of contents if it has any. Also if you have the actual book it will be useful when you write down the publishing information, number of pages and so-on. If it’s a non-fiction book it will be easier to read about the subject online somewhere like Wikipedia in which case you can sort of piece together your book report on that.

Finally if you have an older sibling, ask to borrow one of their book reports, and then rewrite it in your own handwriting. That is, assuming the older sibling will let you have one of their old book reports. You could always steal it from them. Just make sure you rewrite it in your own voice so it doesn’t look like you deliberately copied them.

The nice thing about book reports is they’re generally factual. You start with the title and author, and number of pages. You summarize the plot in a few sentences, and then describe the main characters. Finally you flesh out a fuller plot summary. Then usually at the end you put what you thought about the book. (This is where online book reviews really help, as you can even borrow someone else’s opinion).

It sounds like a lot of work, because you’re doing a lot of skimming and copying. Depending on the book it may be less work than actually reading the book. Since reading the book requires a few days to a few weeks or more, whereas faking a book report might take the better part of an afternoon. You make your call and then follow these tips.

Until ‘Monday’

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