I don’t know when I’ll get to it, if ever.
Here at ‘Monday’ we espouse the belief that you can do it later. In that spirit I have decided to write this article later. In fact I haven’t even chose a topic, title, or anything. So we’ll just leave it until then.
To-Do: Write this last article.
Until ‘Monday’
So here I’m going to present even more ways to lose money. The goal though is not to give it away intentionally, gamble it away, or spending it deliberately. That is, some spending is required, but not to go out to a store and buy merchandise.
1.) Cell phone contracts. Cell phone carriers are notorious for not letting people out of their contracts without a hefty termination fee. So start up a contract, and then try to cancel, so you can lose 150-200 bucks a pop.
2.) Taxes. Go to a state that has tons of taxes. High income tax rates. Sales Tax. Or better yet go to a country that has high taxes such as England who has a death tax.
3.) ATM’s other than your own bank. And sometimes ATMs that are from your own bank. Fees up the wazoo. You pay for using the ATM, you pay for not using your own bank, you pay for using your own bank, and the like.
4.) Buying objects at gas stations and convenience stores. We all know if we go to a big time grocery or drug store we’ll be saving tons of money. So instead you buy all your energy drinks and soda at a convenience store you would be losing a lot of money going there.
5.) Buy in Bulk. You know those stores that are like warehouses with huge amounts of items meant to be used at local diners in offices and so forth. These stores can potentially save you money if done correctly. However sometimes the deals seem too good to be true, so you end up buying more than you would normally thereby losing money on a lot of tasty junk food you don’t need.
6.) Having family members that get violently angry. If you have a spouse that gets angry enough to smash items of high value, then you’re probably losing money replacing all said items. Items like dishes and what not.
7.) Sales. You ever buy junk just because it’s a good deal. It’s sort of like number 5 and buying in bulk. You end up spending more buying sale items than you would have spending money any other time. Lose a lot of money that way.
8.) Eating Out too much. That’s right, restaurants can charge big bucks. Or you can go overboard in a fast food joint. If you eat out so much it actually makes you spend more money when going grocery shopping, you’re losing money.
9.) Surprise donations. Spending money to donate to a reputable charity is not losing money, however, you know when sometimes they ask you at the register of your favorite store to give to charities. Maybe you haven’t even heard of the charity and so in order not to look bad you go ahead and donate a buck or two? Before you know it you’ve given hundreds of dollars away to charities you didn’t even know existed. That’s losing money.
10.) Utilities. We all need water, and electricity, and whatever other utilities there are. But you can lose money just by leaving lights on in the house. Leaving your windows open while you have the heat on. Running the water just a little too long before it’s truly cold or hot. Leave on your computer all day. Your TV and stereo equipment. There are tons of things really. These just eat up money. We’re talking about waste here, not actually turning on stuff because you need to use it. Leaving stuff on when we’re no longer using it actually costs us money we can never get back.
So there you have it 10 more ways to lose money without really giving it away, gambling, or spending it. It all involves spending and in some cases giving away money, but you lose when those aren’t conscious decisions.
Until ‘Monday’
Why get a job at all when you could just beg for the money and let people give it to you. It doesn’t matter that it requires you standing alone on a cold street corner holding a home-made sign. It doesn’t matter that you lose all dignity because you choose not to get a real job even a mediocre one. (Keep in mind I’m not talking about those who can’t actually find a job even though they’ve tried, I’m talking about those you see on the street corner every day.)
If you can’t cut it flipping burgers or cashiering, try begging. It’s easy. Just don’t shower for a week make a homemade sign saying will work for food, and stand on a corner with a hat or a bucket or something. Don’t expect the law to be on your side as some beggars use the money for booze and drugs. In some places begging is a criminal act. In the spirit of being lazy and wanting something for nothing I present a few tips for panhandling.
It may be difficult and embarrassing to beg, but in order to get money for it, you need to just suck it up. Some parts of the world begging is seen as a good thing.
Try to look presentable. More people are likely to give to you if you don’t look like you just rolled out of a dumpster. Try to keep up good hygiene if you can.
Make a sign. Put a short but pathetic story on it, like you were just evicted from your house or just lost your job. The worse it sounds the better. You got fired, your wife left you, your dog got ran over, and you got kicked out of your house. Better yet just grab a story from a country song and you’ll have it made.
Find a good location. Make sure it’s either a place that gets a lot of foot traffic, such as sidewalks and public squares, or somewhere cars slow down so you can come right up to their car.
Be courteous, smile, and also directly ask for some money. Don’t try to talk around it thinking they’ll be more likely to give since you’re not asking directly, just ask in a nice, courteous way.
Finally be thankful you at least can make some money.
I understand not all of you who beg are doing so to be lazy. Times are tough, you may have had a bad break and this is all that’s left. If it is then this article isn’t really for you. This is for people who just want it easy like us here at ‘Monday’. Happy Begging.
Until ‘Monday’